EXT – FLASHBACK
(V.O)
ADALINE
It’s only been six months since D-Day. Six months since Walt
Disney’s cryogenically-frozen head was released from its icy
stasis. Six months, yet it’s felt like years, seconds, and
everything in between. I remember when Disney was a place loved
by all. “The Happiest Place on Earth,” they called it. But when
the stormtroopers flooded the streets, we knew it was no longer
Earth anymore.
The world has been taken over by Disney World. A child’s
greatest dream has become the world’s greatest nightmare.
INT – Celebration Florida, 7:00 AM
ADALINE (24) wakes up. She has dirty blonde hair, gray/blue
eyes, and freckled skin.
She walks out of the room. There’s a line to her bathroom.
ADALINE
Who are you people?
(INT – Cut to her room)
She dresses for the day. She puts on her government mandated
Mickey Ears. Something like a tracking device beeps on it.
(INT – Cut to the kitchen)
She eats the bounty breakfast platter. She stabs Mickey Waffle
aggressively.
(EXT- Outside house)Every house on the block looks exactly the same, down to the
last detail. There’s an identical Mickey fountain on every lawn.
As Adaline runs past, one of the heads turn around to watch her.
She runs to Rock-It-Collercoaster.
FLOOR ATTENDANT
(monotone)
How many in your party?
ADALINE
Just me.
FLOOR ATTENDANT
Lane 3.
ADALINE
(Checks her magic band with no clock on it) (Muttering) Oh,
(Donald Duck quack) I’m gonna be late.
Storm-troopers round the corner.
ADALINE
(To the floor attendant) Dude.
(Signaling his attention to the storm troopers)
FLOOR ATTENDANT
(Gasps)
(Puts on a forced, strained smile)
Adaline boards the ride (flashing lights and darkness)
(INT – Office)(OFFICE WORKER and Adaline in break room) (TV
playing)OFFICE WORKER
Hey, turn that up.
(Adaline raises the volume a couple notches)
NEWS REPORTER
I’m Jimmy Jimmster, bringing you live apocalypse updates from
Channel Four news! S-sorry Channel Eeyore news. (Off-camera): In
today’s news, we bring you the uprise in global warming. Johnny
Nimbus the weather man, can you give us more information on this
topic?
(Cuts to Johnny Nimbus in front of weather graph showing blazing
temperatures skyrocketing)
JOHNNY NIMBUS THE WEATHERMAN
(Smiling) Thanks, Jimmy! Well, considering the global
temperature is set to Florida weather, we are looking at a
spike of an average 95 degrees worldwide. The fish are long
dead, which will have disastrous effects on the natural order.
Back to you Jimmy!
OFFICE WORKER
Poor Nemo. Heard he was about to start a family.
ADALINE
Eh..
JIMMY JIMMSTER
Looks like those at home are going to have to start putting on
sunscreen! (Laughs) And now we have Dr. Finklestein, local mad
scientist, as a guest speaker, who kindly offered to create for
us a simulation of what it would be like if these conditions
continue.DR. FINKLESTEIN
E-yes, well on the screen here ah you can see what will happen
after two months.
(Simulation shows cartoon man humming and walking out of his
house only to immediately burst into flames)
DR. FINKLESTEIN
Ehehe, you feeble humans won’t stand a chance. Now, if you’ll
excuse me, I’m on my way to go take mysterious substances from
the daughter I made in my basement again.
(Cut to Jimmy Jimmster blinking at his screen in horror and
confusion, only to immediately snap back to his cheerful,
professional attitude when he realizes the camera is rolling)
JIMMY JIMMSTER
Wasn’t that fun, everyone?
ADALINE
..no.
NEW GUY walks in. He has round glasses and curly hair.
ADALINE
(To the OFFICE WORKER) Who’s this joker?
OFFICE WORKER
That’s our new co-worker for the storyboard artist department. I
think his name is like Beebo, or something?
NEW GUY
Oh, it’s Bobby, actually.OFFICE WORKER
Sorry, I’m never going to remember that. I’m Thelonious.
ADALINE
Adaline.
THELONIOUS
So can you actually animate?
BOBBY
I’m a lawyer? This was the only other job available.
ADALINE
I used to be a doctor, and then I got replaced by that brat Doc
McStuffins. And she writes her prescriptions in crayon.
THELONIOUS
We’re just second-class citizens to those characters. I used to
be in the army, but we all got replaced with those Yankee
stormtroopers. Apparently we didn’t care enough about the
“integrity of the Disney Parks.” I work for AMERICA, you
communists! So how did you get laid off, Bixby?
BOBBY
Well, those documents I forged put a lot of innocent men in
jail.
THELONIOUS
Oh.
ADALINE (V.O)I decided not to tell these guys about my part-time job.
Wouldn’t wanna spoil the surprise plot twist.
BOBBY
Is this job going to be, like, hard?
ADALINE
Do you like carpal tunnel?
BOBBY
I..no?
ADALINE
Tch.
Bobby
Seems like I have my work cut out for me, huh?
ADALINE
It’s not that bad if the manager doesn’t come in for work.
Luckily he hasn’t been in all week. We think he finally got
himself admitted-
(Mad Hatter enters room)
MAD HATTER
Did somebody say WACKY?
ADALINE
No. Literally not one person said that.
Mad Hatter
Why aren’t you three hooligans working? Have you checked the
time? This behavior is well above my pay grade.Adaline
Jeez, man. We just got here. Have some patience, don’t you
think? He really has one too many screws loose.
Bobby
Adaline, it’s the Mad Hatter. It’s sorta the point… but a check
up at Doc Mcstuffins certainly wouldn’t hurt anyone. Get that
guy on some medication and maybe he won’t be rushing us to get
things done all the time.
Adaline
Ok, Bobby, just saying what everyone was thinking. No need to
get crabby. You’re out of your mind if you think the Mad Hatter
will not rush us. Ask any of his past employees, that’s all he
does.
INT – OFFICE, SOME TIME LATER
The office is full of paper and drawings, strewn all over the
table and floor. Everyone is quietly working on their story
board. Adaline keeps crumbling up hers in frustration and
tossing them.
MAD HATTER
SWITCH PLACES!
ADALINE
No, not again..
BOBBY
What??
They all get up and start shifting one chair over.
BOBBY
What is this for?MAD HATTER
Hurry up, we need to make room!
BOBBY
But do we have time to keep switching like this?
MAD HATTER
Have the time? Who’s got the time? Is it Adaline?
BOBBY
No, like, won’t we run out of time?
MAD HATTER
It doesn’t have legs!
THELONIOUS
This makes me miss the war..
MAD HATTER
SWITCH PLACES!
This continues. The switching gets faster and faster, more
stressful, and frantic. The Mad Hatter’s laughing. The words
echo in Adaline’s brain. Switch. SWITCH. SWITCH! SWITCH!
She smacks her hands on the desk, breaking the cycle.
ADALINE
I can’t!MAD HATTER
Ho-ho! (Grabs Adaline’s jaw and yanks her close to his face) Why
the long face, dearie? Let me see that smile!
ADALINE
(Through gritted teeth) You’re next, Hatter.
MAD HATTER
(Claps hands giddily) Oh, hooray! I’m next!
Adaline reaches out, and with unnecessarily dramatic tension,
tips his tea cup over. It spills on the desk and seeps into the
paper.
BOBBY
I just finished drawing those..
The Mad Hatter looks at the spilled tea. When he turns to look
at Adaline, his smile is forced, and his eyes are narrowed.
MAD HATTER
Clumsy. Clumsy, Adaline. I hope I don’t have to tell Disney
about your lack of hand coordination..
Shot of Adaline standing with her fists clenched on both sides.
Her glare doesn’t waver, but her chest is rising and falling
rapidly.
Shot of Thelonius and Bobby, Thelonius’s wrist clenched
furiously around a pen, Bobby’s eyes wide.
Shot of Adaline deflating in resigned surrender.
ADALINE
(Dully) Clumsy me..She takes her seat, shifted one over.
MAD HATTER
Good! And try not to yell, it’s quite rude. Fortunately, I
remembered to store more scalding tea in my hat. (Splashes) Oh.
Well, as the March Hare used to tell me..
His rambling fades out, and the camera closes in on Adaline’s
tight face.
Cuts back to the Rockin’ Rollercoaster line. There is a sign
visible that says Wait Time: 55 minutes. Everyone seems
miserable, not to mention sweaty. Adaline is tapping her foot on
the floor, looking visibly impatient.
ADALINE
Come on..come on..of all the times for this seizure train to be
crowded, it had to be today?
Bobby, who is ahead of the line, spots her and starts pushing
past people to get near her.
BOBBY
Excuse me..excuse me, sorry..ADALINE!
ADALINE
(Distracted) What? What-oh, hey Blatsby.
BOBBY
(Pushes glasses up) Bobby.
ADALINE
Bobby, the punk who skipped me in line.BOBBY
I was already in front of you! Look, I just wanted to say, it
was really awesome what you did back there. Standing up to a
character, you know? I mean, it was dumb. But it was brave. And
so, so dumb.
Adaline smiles without looking at him.
ADALINE
Thank you..
Bobby clearly still wants to have a conversation with her.
Adaline isn’t noticing.
BOBBY
So, uhm, how’s it going?
ADALINE
Crippling anger issues, that’s what’s going. Plus, the rent’s
due in a week and Captain Hook still owes me a lot of money from
the divorce.
BOBBY
I-what?
Adaline is oblivious to Bobby’s confusion.
He just tried to fake his own death again, can you believe it?
Like, we all know he’s practically immortal by now. Do you know
how many times he’s gotten eaten by that crocodile? It even
crashed our wedding.
BOBBY
Well-I..ADALINE
Don’t you..(lowers voice) Don’t you wonder what it’d be like if
they were gone for good?
BOBBY
Who?
ADALINE
(Whisper screaming) All this Disney crap. The characters, the
rides, all of it!
Bobby looks around frantically.
BOBBY
(Lowers his voice) It would be like the old days, I suppose..
ADALINE
(Wistfully) We could just get in a car and drive wherever we
wanted..
BOBBY
Say whatever we wanted.. we could leave our rooms after 7 PM..we
could see our families..our friends..
ADALINE
We could all have our jobs back! We could all have our lives
back!
BOBBY
Yeah!I-
FLOOR ATTENDANT
How many in your party?Both of them startled, thinking they were caught.
ADALINE
Two, I guess..
Adaline and Bobby get on the ride and pull the safety head rest
thing on top of them.
BOBBY
I wish.. (He’s talking more slowly now, the excitement in his
voice replaced with resignation and longing) I wish this would
all just..disappear. I wish..I could feel happy again, without
feeling like I’m forced to be.
Adaline smiles, and it’s different then the one earlier. There’s
something ominous behind it. Something less like joy and more
like anticipation. (AEROSMITH IN THE BACKGROUND: FIVE, FOUR..)
ADALINE
When you wish upon a star..
BOBBY
What?
AEROSMITH
ONE!
They’re shot into the rollercoaster, and the darkness and
flashing lights swallow Adaline’s smile.
EXT – Celebration, Florida. Adaline is on the doorstep of her
house.
Adaline exhales a breath. The camera zooms out to once again
show the house, identical, all lined up in a row. She opened the
door.ADALINE walks into her dark room. on her answering machine. She clicks the button.
She notices she has 1 message
Captain Hook
You better come back to me, Adaline! Or you’ll be swimming with
the fishes! And I don’t just mean that as a violent threat.
You’ll be walking the plank, lassie! So, what are you doing
tonight? Are you with that idiot, Donald? DONALD! THAT
HOMEWRECKER! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM- so, I’ve been doing
great adjusting to the single life, arrgghh. Have you heard of
this thing called Crypto? It’s going to make me rich! You’ll be
begging to let me back into your-
Adaline slams the phone shut. A second later, it rings again.
ADALINE
Hello?
DONALD DUCK
Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? (Aggressive quacking).
ADALINE
To herself: Boys.. To Donald: (bright and cheery) Heyy Donald.
DONALD DUCK
Are we still on tonight, my snickerdoodle?
ADALINE
I-okay first of all, don’t call me that again. I’m (lowers her
voice) really looking forward to it. I can’t believe you got me
a seat inside the castle!DONALD DUCK
Oh, well, I’m a pretty big deal.
ADALINE
I can see that! And Walt Disney is going to be there and
everything! So vulnerable, and unguarded.
DONALD DUCK
QUUACK! I’ll also be vulnerable and unguarded..
ADALINE
I..sure, whatever you say, Donald. Come pick me up at 5:00, and
please don’t run over my mailbox this time.
DONALD DUCK
That (violent quacking) jumped in my way!
ADALINE
(Sing-song) Don’t be late.
Adaline slams the phone down. She looks down at her bed, at the
sparkly dress and high heel shoes she laid out. Boss music
starts playing.
ADALINE V.O
So here’s the deal. (She pulls a hidden knife out of her high
heels and points it at a mirror) Animating isn’t the only
profession I took up. (Close up on her zipping up her dress)
I’ve been taking bounties for years now. (Close up on picking up
her hair with a diamond pin) I’ve worked for all the good ones,
The Evil Queen, Yzma,.. Captain Hook. (Close up on her clasping
a silver necklace around her neck) But not Sid from Toy Story.
No, I stay far away from that freak. (Close up on her applying
dark red lipstick) But I’ve decided to take up my own hit job.(Close up on applying eye shadow) And this one. Is. Big. (Close
up on her putting the knife back in the heel).
I’m going to kidnap Walt Disney.
ADALINE V.O cont.
That duck is going to give me my in with the higher ups. Once
I’m inside the castle walls, I’ll dine with Walt Disney himself.
I’ll be his guest, all right. And when the clock strikes
midnight, I’ll strike. Long live the king.
Zoom out of Adaline standing with her new outfit. She looks
stunning, and dangerous.
She pulls on her bright pink Mickey Ears.
Zoom out of Adaline standing with her new outfit. She looks
stunning, dangerous, and she’s wearing bright pink Mickey Ears.
Int car
Adaline
I have been waiting to take Disney out for months and the
day has finally arrived.
Ext Main Street USA
Adaline
This is it the last time anyone will ever walk down main
street while Disney is still in charge. That sweet smell
of vanilla will no longer be the same.
Donald duckI can’t wait for this dinner, I’m starving, and Disney
always knows how to put up quite a feast. Im gonna leave
looking like I need ozempic.
Adaline
Oh, Donald you always say this and don’t gain a pound.
Just shut your beak ok?
Donald duck
Jeez, someone is being extra cantankerous this evening.
What is going on with you?
Adaline
Nothing, nothing! Could you maybe keep your beak out of
my business or is that something inevitable for you
Donald?
Donald duck
You know what? I’m so done with you and being crabby all
the time. Adaline, keep this up and you won’t here from
me again
Adaline
That wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen, honestly.
Donald duck
Once this is dinner is over, so are we.Adaline
Fantastic!
Int in the castle
Walt Disney
Welcome! Is everyone ready for the feast of a lifetime? I
sure am. Come on guys, sit down anywhere you want.
Adaline
Hello, Walt. Thank you for inviting me and my Donald over
here for dinner, we have been looking forward to this all
week!
Donald Duck
Yes! I’m so excited to eat all the food you have to offer
me
Adaline
Try not to sound too greedy, huh? It’s not like you don’t
have food at your place.
Donald duck
Alright, whatever. Let’s get this dinner started.
Walt Disney
Yes, let’s do just that! And pretend like your
relationship isn’t falling to pieces, eh?Adaline
Wow, Mr. Disney, you really out did yourself with this
turkey! Gotta get down there and teach the chefs at the
starlight café how’s it done. Don’t they know the
visitors are bored of the chicken sandwiches and the
sully icees?
Donald Duck
Sorry Walt, all she does is complain.
Adaline
Should have thought about that before dating me, Donald.
We shouldn’t discuss this relationship that is quickly
gonna turn into ruins by the end of the night.
Donald duck
Ok…
Adaline
Donald, why don’t you stop stuffing your face and speak
to us?
Donald duck
Please, that’s like asking Pluto to never bark again.
Food is my only source of happiness lately.
Adaline
Wow… not the place you work? This is the happiest, most
magical place on earth and you are choosing food?Walt Disney
Adaline, give the poor guy a break. Having a stubborn
girl like you on his back all day, I don’t blame him if
his moments of relief are at the dinner table.
Donald duck
Knew you would have my back on this. All I am trying to
do is relax. Adaline doesn’t have snobby kids sneezing in
her face all day long.
Adaline
You’re right I don’t. I thank God everyday that I was not
born a character.
DONALD DUCK
And I quack at God every day for sticking me with a
selfish, bratty, worthless chick for a girlfriend!
ADALINE
May I be excused to the women’s room?
DISNEY
Certainly.
Adaline exits the dining room and walks down the hall
with her back towards the camera, her hand trailing down
the wall.
ADALINEEveryone always treats me like black sheep. Well today,
(she grins at her concealed weapon) I’m going to show
them what the black sheep can do.
She pries open a vent and crawls inside, shutting it
behind her. She moves through the vents, until she stops
at the grate right above Walt Disney.
ADALINE
Gotcha! (Pulls out the knife) Now you see him, now you
don-
She bangs heads with someone.
ADALINE
What the- Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.
The “someone” is revealed to be Bobby. He rubs his head
in pain, and then smiles.
BOBBY
(Whispering) Gee, you sure are hard-headed, Adaline.
ADALINE
(Whisper screaming) BAMBI! What are you doing in Walt
Disney’s vents?
BOBBY
(Whisper) Why are you?ADALINE
(Whisper screaming) Powdering my nose-I’M TRYING TO KILL
DISNEY, IDIOT.
BOBBY
What a coincidence! I’m here for the same reason!
ADALINE
WHAT-what? You’re- (lowers voice and scrutinizes Bobby)
no way you’re a bounty hunter. You dress like a twink,
your eyes almost fell out of your head when I talked back
to a character, and you accidentally spilled coffee all
over me because, and I quote, “The coffee machine made an
unexpected noise.”
BOBBY
I-hey, it was unexpected! Besides, you can be timid and
still carry out a scheme, you know.
ADALINE
Whatever, man. You’re getting in the way of my kill.
(Reaches for the weapon) What? Where’s my knife?
Bobby dangles it in front of her, smiling.
ADALINE
How did you-
BOBBYSleight of hand.
Adaline seems impressed, but immediately shrugs it off.
ADALINE
Go back to doing card tricks in your basement, moron.
Give the gun to me before you end up shooting your eye
out.
BOBBY
Sorry, but I can’t have you taking my hit. I’m getting
paid the big bucks for this one. I’m going to buy a race
car!
ADALINE
Someone hired you for this? Who?
BOBBY
I can’t tell you.
ADALINE
What?
BOBBY
I’m supposed to let the suspense linger for the plot
twist in episode 2..
ADALINE (V.O)He can break the fourth wall too? Man, this guy is like
the poor man Adaline. Although, if someone hired him for
an assasination this huge, he’s got to be one of the big
leaguers. I wonder what else I don’t know about this
guy..
Adaline inches over him, curiously.
ADALINE
What gun do you have?
BOBBY
Gun? I’m not using a knife! That would be like painting
the Starry Night with washable markers. A hunt this big
requires sophistication!
ADALINE
How are you making assasination sound nerdy?
BOBBY pulls a bomb out of his pocket.
BOBBY
This is the last of my pipe bombs. I’ve been planting
these all around the castle. In one hour, the Disney
parks are going to get a brand new fireworks show!
BOBBY laughs, and the bomb accidentally slips out of his
fingers. He fumbles around with it clumsily trying to
catch it.
ADALINEYou’re good.
BOBBY beams at Adaline.
BOBBY
What if we teamed up after this?
ADALINE
Tch. What do you think this is, My Little Pony?
BOBBY
First of all, there was probably some sort of reference
to a Disney product you could’ve used instead. Second of
all, I’m serious! My techniques, your ferocity and
ability to be a devious little rat, we’d be like, an
unstoppable duo!
ADALINE
As tempting as being called a devious little rat made the
offer seem, I work alone. (Looks away, then drops the
sarcasm for just a second) Sorry.
BOBBY
Well-
ADALINE
Also, take your slimy tentacle off my waist before I
break it off.
BOBBYI don’t have a slimy tentacle..
Adaline and Bobby are suddenly yanked forward, their
bodies breaking through the vent as they’re held up to
everyone in the dining room, suspended by the tentacles
of Ursula, the sea witches.
WALT DISNEY
Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo, children.
