Dear ILS,

As you prepare to let the class of 2023 leave their days with you behind, we once again will be the little fish in a big sea, this time that big sea isn’t necessarily in a classroom, but instead in what some refer to as “the real world.”

For three years I have watched the graduating class move onto the next chapter of their life and talk about how fast time flies, but I never could relate to them, and was relieved I didn’t have to. I felt like I had all of the time in the world…shocker, I didn’t!

The feeling of having your whole life ahead of you is a feeling many of my peers and I share, but here we are, the first chapter is coming to a close, our childhood.

The girl I was in freshman year feels like a completely different person than the girl I am now. For every mistake I’ve made, and I’ve made a lot, there was another lesson which forced me into learning.

The list can go on forever…but here are some of my biggest take aways.

It’s Not The End Of The World

Some days I felt like the world was coming down on me and my life was nearly over. Other days I couldn’t think of anything to complain about, which to be quite honest made things a little boring.

For every “major problem” that I faced, were hours I spent worrying or talking about the problem. The time I wasted was and will never be worth it.

Whether it was feeling betrayed by a friend, not seeing eye to eye with a teacher, or finding out what not nice thing someone said about me, it was never as serious as I thought it was.

While I can’t just stop worrying, it was a lesson that took me awhile to learn but life got considerably easier once I stopped fixating on the things I don’t have any control over, and started focusing on what I could gain or what I could do to help myself out.

Bad things are going to happen, but trying to change the things and people I cannot change will always be a waste of time and energy.

Being Present

I’ve been anticipating the tears and dread that comes with the closing of senior year, but two days before the year ends and it hasn’t hit like I thought it would. Instead, I am taking in every last second before the bell rings on Friday and have started to notice that it has been the little things that have made me excited to come here every morning.

As the year went on, I’ve stopped spending my class time flipping through my calendar counting how many days I have left until prom or graduation. Instead I started getting excited that in three minutes I get to walk to class with my best friend.

I’m going to miss bringing a notebook to lunch and pretending my friend and I are each other’s therapists because I always felt like my problems got a little bit smaller after she wrote them down on a piece of paper.

I’m going to miss laying on the benches after lunch complaining about how tan we could be getting right now if we weren’t in school, but rolling up the sleeves on our polos and trying anyway.

I’m going to miss the coffee runs with my teammates before sailing practice and the banter we’d have with one another while cleaning our boats.

Memories of prom and winning nationals are great, but it’s the moments that were built into my daily routine that I cherish the most.

You Don’t Know What You Got Till It’s Gone

I watched my parents sob over saying goodbye to my sister when she went to college a couple of hours away from home, but I knew they had some comfort in knowing their youngest was still sitting across the dinner table and would be for two more years.

After applying to over 20 schools, I was able to narrow down my choices to three. Two of these schools were just a couple hours away, the other positioned in a state six hours away. I definitely didn’t go the simpler route once I clicked accept to attend San Diego State University. Now when the leaves change in the fall, so will the dynamic of my family.

The difficulties of applying to and deciding on a college kept me distracted, so distracted I never stopped to think about what I’d be leaving behind when I actually go.

Suddenly I’m finding myself grateful for the mutual annoyance my dad and I share because he keeps asking me to do the dishes, or the many times my mom comes into my room to turn off my lights because at least they are here and not 3,000 miles away.

Luckily, I hit the jackpot in the family department and I have never been left alone to fight a fight, which ultimately got me through high school.

My final goodbye to a campus I spent four years on will not compare to leaving my home. I’ll say goodbye to my dogs, I’ll have one last home cooked meal, and I’ll have yet another first day of school, but this time I won’t come home in a few hours to tell my dad how it went.

The time spent with my family was never a burden, but instead a blessing.

I’ll move into an unfamiliar place but I’ll have comfort in knowing I have a lot of love waiting for me when I come home.

I’m prepared to navigate through the many new life lessons I’m about to receive, the most unfortunate lesson being that my clothes haven’t been cleaning themselves over the years.

High school… during our time together I’ve spent too much time experiencing regret, focusing on the negatives, and wondering what I could do to change myself. I see now that my high school experience was amazing. It wasn’t perfect, of course; no one’s was. But it was amazing. I’m going to miss this time in my life a lot, but I’m excited to be starting this new chapter of my life.

Love you lots!

Sincerely,

Holland Ramos ‘23