Five-Minute Craft Hacks


I need to have a conversation with whoever thought this was a good idea.

Victoria Sosadias, Writer

Life hacks are supposed to make our lives easier. Need to do or fix something in a pinch? There’s a life hack for that. There’s a life hack for everything.

But what if I told you about some life hacks that do the complete opposite? Yes, they are that bad, and yes you will have an existential crisis upon viewing these self proclaimed “life-hacks.”

The glorious channel Five-Minute Crafts launched their mind numbing life-hack channel on November 15 of 2016. Since then, they have taken the internet and its platforms by storm, crossing over to other Social Media’s such as Instagram, Snapchat, and Tiktok.

“Once, I saw a life hack where you’re supposed to blow up a balloon and put your phone on top of it and as it deflates, the balloon creates a case for the phone. It doesn’t protect it at all and it looks weird so I was a bit confused as to why anyone would do that.” Said Five-Minute Crafts survivor Sofia Farres.

Now, without further adieu, here are three of the worst Five-Minute Crafts hacks you will never ever use (and there are sooooo many of these).

1.) Fashionable phone case alert!

Oh no! I bought this brand new, shiny IPhone 12 and I don’t have a case to put it in. Weep no longer, my child, because if you have a perfectly good stuffed toy around the house, just cut it open to match the size of your phone, rip out it’s cotton interior, and place your phone inside. Practical and stylish, said literally nobody.

Your phone can slip out of your new “case” just as easily as it was slipped in. But, props to you for wasting this perfectly good toy that would have made dozens of children happy to receive.

“On a rate from one to ten on helpfulness, I would probably rate them a one,” said senior Sofia Farres.

2.) Napkins in Halfkins

Are your napkins just to darn big? Everyone knows the struggle of just having a napkin that’s too long. I mean, they’re impossible to hold, and just a floppy mess. Well, have no fear, Five-Minute Crafts is here! Take a large kitchen knife and cut those suckers in half. BOOM. Instant life changer over here.

3.) My head is too flat for my glasses to rest upon 🙁

This one is for all the people out there who wear glasses, so if you wear contacts, then that sucks because this hack isn’t for you. Are your glasses just in the way of your face? Ugh, so annoying. I, personally, hate having the ability to see, and I just need this big piece of plastic out of my face.

Well, you’re in luck, because there’s a hack for that! Take one of those stick-on wall hooks and take it right off the wall. Then, instead of utilizing it for its actual purpose, just go ahead and stick it right onto your forehead. The hook then allows you to move your pesky glasses out of the way. Double points in you go out into public with this on.

After these hacks, you’re practically a pro at life. Now you have all of the things you need to get out there and hack the world. Congratulations! Get out there and show them who’s the real life hacking pro!