Seniors are truly a special breed of students. Sure, we as a student body are supposed to look up to them. We’re supposed to praise and congratulate them… but it’s hard to when they’re so obnoxious. There is nothing that angers me more than seeing a student walk down the hallway with that bright red lanyard around their neck. Like… we get it. You’re old. You don’t have to show it off all the time. You don’t have to go all out every single spirit week and win every single class competition to prove it to us. Not only that, but seniors are infamous for their laziness. Maybe if they kept their masks on, they wouldn’t have contracted severe senioritis. How are we upperclassmen expected to look up to such sluggish students? They’re supposed to set an example for us, right? Come on! It’s your last year… aren’t you supposed to go out with a bang?

In my humble opinion, I think we should ban all seniors from joining clubs at ILS. Not because it distracts them from their studies, but because they distract me from my hobbies. If I didn’t meet the senior population of the drama club, I think life could be more tolerable. Everything would be a trillion times simpler if Delia Sauer didn’t sit next to me backstage and have amusing conversations with me; does she want me to miss my cues? Everything would be better if Drake Garcia didn’t make me crack up laughing every time we shared the stage of the Bayshore Ballroom; it’s like he wants me to fail as an actor by making me break character. It’s merciless and inhumane.

I think the absolute worst thing about seniors is the fact that seniors are generally nice to me. Sometimes, I wish they’d be as cruel and ruthless as they’re portrayed in movies; alas, life is disappointing and upperclassmen can, in fact, be friendly. It’s almost evil that seniors can be so amiable. I think, personally, they do this to make everyone else suffer. Seniors latch onto you and make you adore them just so they can leave you post-graduation. How cruel is that? It’s even worse when they do favors for you in a sad attempt to make you like them… and it’s even sadder when it works. Why do all the editors of the Royal Courier bother helping me when they can just let me figure things out myself? Maybe Alvaro Amat should stop trying to drag me out of annoying situations and let me suffer instead.

Even now, as they’re about to graduate, they make an effort to get you as attached to them as possible. I’ve worked with Catalina Lujan this entire year and she only now just followed me on Instagram. Even now, the dumb seniors I call my friends greet me every day. Do you know how much easier my life would be if Samantha Getchell didn’t attack me with a hug every time she saw me? Do you know how much happier I would be if Caitlyn Gil didn’t call my name from across the hallway just to smile at me?

I hate seniors because they’re leaving. If they truly cared about me and the friendship they formed with me throughout this year, they’d fail all their classes and repeat a school year just to keep hanging out with me. How evil they all are for going off to college in hopes of building a better future for themselves?